Passive voice is a subtle narrative choice that can lead to readers putting down your book and forgetting to return to it. Essentially, passive voice creates distance from the reader and the subject.
If I’m working on your manuscript and I’ve directed you here, don’t sweat it. Writing in passive voice can one hundred percent be unlearned. Writing is a habit, and it teaches us to create new habits. But, first, you need to understand passive voice and when you’re writing in it.
What is Active Voice verse Passive Voice?
Active voice refers to performing action in the now. It invites the reader directly into an experience as it’s happening.
In contrast, passive voice deals with something that has already happened and is in the past. It can distance the reader from the action of the present moment.
Think of active and passive as living in the present vs. living in the past. Which one makes you feel more alive, engaged, and connected? Which one keeps you in your head and disconnected from the now?
Why Does Active Voice Matter?
In fiction writing, like showing, active voice keeps the reader engaged in your story. Your number one goal as a writer is to create an environment where engagement thrives.
Though similar in many ways, showing focuses on action while active voice focuses on word choice. Using action and writing in active words creates compelling narrative prose. Together, the two are your ultimate writing duo.
Explore more about showing on my blog post How to Show Vs. Tell in Fiction: Part 2 of Common Developmental Edits.
How to Write in Active Voice
1. Who’s Performing the Action?
Write in active voice by utilizing the below equation.
Active voice = A does B
Fiona dried her mother’s hair.
The subject should perform the action on the action’s target.
(A) Subject = Fiona
(B) Action’s target = mother’s hair
Ask yourself who’s performing. Is the subject performing the action on the action’s target? If yes, you’re using active voice.
Passive Voice = B is done by A
Mother’s hair was dried by Fiona.
See how the passive voice creates distance?
We’ve switched the subject and target around and added “was”. It muddles the understanding of the sentence’s structure.
2. Avoid the Use of Was/Were
Although it’s a tough habit to break, try to omit was/were from your fiction writing vocabulary. You don’t have to always succeed, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. But try. “Was” is a past particle verb of the word be, which means to exist, occur, or take place. So, have your characters exist and do, in the moment, instead of existing and doing what they did in the past.
Example of Passive Voice:
Fiona was riding her bike down the road that was filled with cute, cookie-cutter houses that were painted in variable colours. One day she was going to have a house that would look like one of those ones.
Example of Active Voice:
Fiona rode her bike. The red, orange, and salmon painted houses swept by. She stopped at the house with the thatched roof, green shutters, and arched front door.
Example of Active Voice + Showing (Ultimate Magic Duo + Bonus Magic for Motive):
Fiona peddled swiftly by the red, orange, and salmon painted houses. She slowed her bike to a coast at her favourite house and admired the thatched roof, green shutters, and arched front door. One day, it would be hers.
Tip for Writing in Active Voice: Read the last paragraph you wrote. Highlight the words was and were. Go back and revise those words to active voice. “He was standing in the doorway” will revise to “He stood in the doorway”.
In Review...
Write in active voice by asking yourself who's performing the action and avoiding the past particle verb was/were.
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